Goin off to school in two more days.  Its gonna be something totally new. I haven't even met the guys I'm gonna be living with.  Such things puts me in an introspective mood.


This summer has been really great.  I know I say that every year, and this is no different.  This has been one of relatively little drama compared with the past couple of years, and I've kept myself so busy I haven't had time to be bored.  Been to Peru, Ohio, Chicago, South Carolina, and South Florida, in between time at the beach and playin basketball.  And really, I hate for it to end.  And yet inevitably, in two days, it will end.  I will be in Gainesville, friendless and starting over, beginning a new phase in whatever God's plan might be.  I'm comfortable with it, and yet a part of me (as always) longs to stay.  There's so much for me to do around here, so many people's lives I want to be involved in, so many good friends I leave behind.  Partly I'm scared of growing apart from the people I'm closest to.  And yet I'm not complaining, because I know that I have to go, and I'm ready for it.  I'm comfortable with my decision to Gainesville.  I know that for right now it is my place.  I'm sure that God will indeed do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.  Plus I've got season football tickets.


My spiritual life is much like my academic life, I've noticed.  If one were to look at my resume, I would appear to be highly motivated and ambitious, knowing where I'm headed in life and how to get there.  I would appear dedicated to school and hardworking.  My resume points to a person that doesn't exist.  The reality of it is that I am none of these things.  The same is true of my spiritual life.  One would think that someone who's been a Christian as long as I have, who claims to be so very moral and upright, who is certainly a leader of sorts in the church would have his own relationship to God in line.  And yet this too points to a person who doesn't exist.  I don't give God first priority.  I depend far too much on people.  If I would just put Him first, other relationships and friendships would magically fall in line and become deeper and more meaningfull than I would have ever hoped.  And yet I don't and then get mad when people disapoint me, when they don't live up to my standards, when I find reasons that they have let me down rather than try to be the best friend that I can.  All of this would fade away in the greater light of God, if only I would put Him first.


Regardless of how I talk, I'm happy with my life.  It really is amazing.  I have no complaints, except about my own lack of character.  This next step is gonna be good.Thank you God for giving me so much more than I deserve. 

Comments

  1. teekerbelleAugust 15, 2005 at 3:47 PM

    Thanks for updating..it's nice to know what's going on in your life..and for once to know what you are thinking..since whenever i ask you what you are thinking you say nothing..but it's ok..i love you. Green Tree wasn't the same without you there..sitting on the couch with aaron and eric beside me doesn't even come close to sitting on the couch with just jonathon..yeah that's right both of them don't equal one of you..i can't wait until i get to come and visit and it will kinda be like old times but not at all..but it's a new chapter in your life and that will be wonderful..love you

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  2. AnonymousChristianAugust 17, 2005 at 5:21 PM

    Well, the first thing to do in getting deeper friendships is to share honestly your imperfections (which you did in the third paragraph). Sometimes it takes a big hit out of our pride, but is well worth it! Hope law school is all you wish it to be, and that you will make many new friendships rooted in Christ. I certainly know how you feel, but getting outside of our comfort zones puts more of ourselves into God's hands (just think about Abraham). I am content in knowing God wants me up here, but I do miss the South!

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  3. AnonymousAugust 20, 2005 at 9:05 PM

    Blackburn - we could all be better persons if we take your words to heart.  No one is the person that others see.  The only thing that we can do is be ourselves and let God take care of the rest.  I know that he has great things in store for you no matter what you do.  God bless and I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you before you left for UF.
    -Matt Wilson

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