Today has been an absolute roller coaster.  It was my first day of law school.  I just feel so unsure, like I'm hanging by a thread, wandering in a direction that I'm not even sure of.  What is it, really, that I want to do with my life? Or more importantly, what is it that God wants me to do?  I just want to do what will make me happy, what at the end of the day I will be satisfied with, regardless of money or status.  Or at least I tell myself that, but so often when I think of what I can do the money is what comes to mind.  Half the time I think I should just quit, go home, and be a high school teacher.  After all, I tell myself, you know you're just gonna end up doing that anyways. Why not just give up the charade now?  But then theres of course this desire to work for myself, this desperate desire not to get caught up in a job now that I will work at for the rest of my life. I mean, what if I don't like it?  Then I am stuck.  With the law school thing I feel like at the very least I am buying myself time.  And how much of it is just me being lonely and wanting to go home?

And so my options: Teach hs, or continue the law school thing with hopes that I'll figure something out.  And give myself even more pride in thinking that I'm too far along for something so "simple" as teaching.  I don't know, I just wish someone, anyone, would just tell me what to do.  I just wish I could be content with where I am now, not worry about where I'm headed, just God to open the doors.  And all of this would be so much easier if I didn't have such strong connections to P'cola.  Man, I miss it.  Maybe that's what this is all about.